RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP (PART 1)

"When we get into a relationship, it’s a rose-petal garden, and sometimes we’re so mesmerized by it that we get pricked by the thorns unnoticeably."

One may contradict and say that every relationship needs to have some sort of compromise.

 Well yes, COMPROMISE — but don’t compromise your partner’s red flags and disrespect in disguise.

Oh, red flags… yeah, this term is used so commonly in today’s modern era.

 But what really are red flags?

Red flags are typically those qualities or traits in your partner or friend that make them seem toxic — something that you usually don’t like but tolerate just because you don’t want disputes among y’all.

 Today I’ll be focusing more on the "relationship"  aspect of it.

I’ve written about Gen Z relationships in one of my previous blogs, and today I thought of highlighting this aspect of Gen Z relationships.

In total, I’ve shortlisted 22 red flags that I’ll be writing about.

 I’ll be dividing it into two parts so that it doesn’t get too long.

 So, we’ll be discussing 11 red flags for now.

SIGNS OF RED FLAGS YOU DON’T WANT YOUR PARTNER TO POSSESS.

1. No Initiative

 Have you noticed how it’s always you who is texting them, making the initiative to plan something, and they just go with the flow?

 If a person really likes you, they will constantly try to make plans with you, want to spend time with you because you make them happy.

 But if it’s always you who is doing all the planning work, then maybe they’re just not that into you.

2. Love Bombing

 I love this because this is such a toxic red-flag sign that happens at the start of a relationship, and people dismiss it by saying it’s the lovey-dovey era where you can’t stay away from your partner.

 I don’t think people understand how bad love-bombing actually is.

It's like you got something new, and now you’re so obsessed with it that you can’t get away from it.

 THIS IS NOT LOVE — IT’S DOPAMINE.

 I said what I said.

 Because you clearly can’t contain your over-excitement, and then you want to spend every second with this person.

 This is not normal behaviour, and if you’re a mature person, you would avoid love-bombing your partner or watch out for being love-bombed.

3. Lack of Communication

 This is a serious minus point for any type of relationship.

 How can a relationship work if there’s no communication?

 Communication is a necessity in a relationship. We need to communicate with our partners and build a connection with them. Once you’ve accomplished that, there will be fewer disputes because at least now you’ll know what and how your partner feels.

4. Jealousy

 If you think jealousy is a form of estimating how much your partner really loves and cares about you, then this is the time for you to leave my website.

 Because WTF?

 Some crackheads find it cute.

 Like, “Omg, they’re getting jealous!”

 What the hell?

 You need to get checked if you find this in any way cute — because it definitely isn’t.

 I don’t think you need to make your partner jealous in any sort of way and definitely not to prove a point, because some people use that statement to do so.

 This is one aspect of it. The other one is when your partner is jealous of how many guys or girls you talk to. This just shows how insecure you are in this relationship and your lack of trust in your partner.

5. Possessive

 This is also mistaken for being cute.

 Omg, what is wrong with people? I personally hate overly possessive people because what do you mean you want me all to yourself?

 This can either be them wanting you all to themselves or making it a big deal if you’re talking or making time for other people and, as they say, “not giving them enough attention.”

6. Overly Controlling

 When your partner starts being bossy or overly controlling, you need to address that because I don’t think anyone would like a partner who tells them what to do and gives orders as if they’re their servant.

 Personally, in any given situation, I hate the idea of following others’ orders or doing what other people tell me to do.

7. Gaslighting

 I feel this is almost on par with being with a manipulator because every sentence you utter is going to be used against you in the future.

 Also, there might be instances where they’ll trick you into thinking that you made certain promises just to get their way in a situation, when in reality, you never said anything of that sort — and now they’re messing with your head.

8. Trust Issues

 I don’t understand why someone would have trust issues with their partner.

 I get it if it’s the beginning of a relationship and you’re still in that “getting to know each other” phase. But if you’re telling me that even after one year into a relationship you still find it hard or difficult to trust your partner, then that’s a you problem.

 They’ll also try to sabotage you by saying they want to see proof when you tell them something, showing their doubt in your words.

 It’s better to work on your insecurities before jumping into a relationship.

9. No Accountability

 Making mistakes and not owning up to them — if they do this, they might have ego issues. These are little things that really start to affect a relationship in the long run.

10. Emotional Manipulation

 When things aren’t going their way and they can’t get what they want, they try to emotionally blackmail you in such a way that you’ll think it’s out of concern when really it’s just their insecurities.

11. Inconsistent Behaviour

 When your partner goes from messaging you constantly to not messaging at all, talking and showing up only when it’s convenient for them — from making time in their busy schedule to making excuses not to meet up — all of this just highlights their inconsistency in the relationship, and this needs to be addressed ASAP.

12. Disrespecting Boundaries

 If having boundaries makes you seem uptight, then you need to work on that — or maybe change your partner.

 Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be exceedingly vulnerable. You’re allowed to draw a line, and you don’t need to share everything with your partner in the early stages of your relationship.

 Being extremely open about your personal life isn’t healthy either.

 And if you have boundaries and your partner constantly dismisses them, then you need to tell them to step back and learn to respect them.

 This lack of self-awareness about your boundaries and their dismissal shows that they prioritise their wants and needs over your comfort.

These are some of the red flags that you need to stay away from until I give you Part 2.

 I hope that if you see these signs in your current partner, you’ll address them and work things out. You have all the right and freedom in the world to express your likes and dislikes — so make sure you do so.

 See y’all in Part 2.

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